Learning To Shut Up

Right, so here’s the thing. It’s been a long time since I last posted to this blog about anything that made me remotely angry. However, that has now changed. 

I went through a period in my life in which I was a self harmer. Many people know that, it’s not a secret. HOWEVER, I have been cut free for 18 months now. Apparently, that’s not common knowledge. 

I do not have the urge to hurt myself. I am not a danger to myself. I amazingly am allowed around sharp objects because funnily enough I’m nearly 21. I’m about to launch into why I’m so angry. Hold on, it might get a bit rant-y.

A “friend” of mine who for the purpose of this post shall remain nameless, linked me to a video called “10 REASONS TO STOP CUTTING YOURSELF”. I knew then and there that I shouldn’t have clicked on the link. But this video was sent to me by said “friend” because apparently it embodies everything they’ve ever wanted to say about my cutting problem (they used the present tense).

I won’t link the video because it’s horrendous, but here are the 10 reasons:

1. Getting/Keeping a job can be very difficult when you have self-inflicted scars all over your arms. 
   The example used in the video was that of going into any of the armed forces, and there of course is truth to this. But I could name you dozens of people that I know in professional capacities that aren’t the armed forces who are ex-self harmers and still have the scars to prove it. It’s not that black and white an area. 
2. It doesn’t fix any real world problems.
   Again, a valid point. However, the way it was made was the guy in the sketch went “Hey, maybe if I cut myself the trash will take itself out.” That’s not at all how the mind of a self harmer works and frankly, if you think it is, you’re either ignorant or more stupid than you come across.
3. They’re not even cool scars.
   Yup, you’re right. When I was at that stage I totally cut myself because I wanted cool scars. Guess that one back fired.
4. It shows you don’t appreciate your healthy body.
   Sorry, but someone who has mental health issues is not healthy. You can’t use that argument. Physical and mental health are just as important as one another. If someone had diabetes you wouldn’t go “Yeah, but their brain is fine so what are they complaining about?”
5. You could cut too deep and accidentally kill yourself/do significant damage.
   This one is a valid reason to not cut yourself. Probably the only one in this list I agree with. 
6. People will never think of you in the same way. You will forever be a “cutter”. 
   Another bizarre and not at all thought through point. Everyone that matters to me treats me like they always have done. I don’t care if other people have labelled me a “cutter” forever, because frankly I don’t want those people in my life.
7. Cutting is often a phase and giving in to it admits that you’re weaker than other people who didn’t give into it.
   Yes, cutting is often a phase. However, does “giving in” make you weaker than other people? I don’t think so. And frankly, if it’s a phase that a lot of people experience even if some don’t act on it, isn’t that something we should be looking into?
8. When you self harm, the bullies win.
   Another point made by someone uneducated in the area of self harming. My “bully” was me. I was the one beating myself up. I was the one who couldn’t think clearly because of a chemical imbalance in my brain. I didn’t cut myself because someone said something mean to me. I did it because I thought those things about me. Screw what anyone else thinks of me. Not everyone cuts because they’re being bullied.
9. People who cut themselves have to endure lame and embarrasing interventions that make them feel like a total freak.
   Oh, like this video? Wow. Way to be a hypocrite. I never had an “intervention” in my life. 
10. If you really had all those problems in your life, why add ugly scars and bleeding all over yourself to the list?
    Um. Because all those problems made me think that was the only option, okay? I don’t for a second expect to understand anyone else’s situation because of how personal depression and reasons for self harm are. But why on earth would you attempt to generalise millions of peoples experiences into 10 points like this and think you’d get it right? 

Needless to say I’m no longer talking to the “friend” that linked me to that video. This is where the title of this post makes sense. People need to learn to shut up on points they know nothing about. I’m not about to comment on someone who is struggling with bipolar disorder, because I have no idea what living with that is like. The same way I’m not about tell someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that they just need to “stop being so obsessive”. Because I have NO idea what living with OCD is like. Just like you don’t know what self harm is like unless you’ve been through it. You don’t know what the empty void of depression is like unless you have experienced it. 

Let’s end on a re-introduction, shall we? 

Hi. My name is Becca. I’m nearly 21. I am incredibly opinionated. I still haven’t fully escaped the clutches of depression. I am not a danger to myself and have been clean for a year and a half. Cutting is no longer my crutch. 

Also, if you annoy me there’s the potential for me to blog about it. 🙂