“Remember me? I’m everything you can’t control.”

So guys, it’s been a weird week. 

It’s been a week that has made me think of my friend Shan, a lot. One of the main things that Shan has taught me in the years we’ve been friends is that it doesn’t matter what someone thinks of you, and that someone else’s opinion of you at the end of the day is almost completely irrelevant. 

Story time. 

When I was about 14 the main social network that everyone was on was Bebo. My friend, Meg, was over at my house and we were just trawling through everything on bebo, as you do, and Meg commented on Kim’s photo. I don’t remember what the comment was, but it was not received well. Shan defended Kim, and I defended Meg. And really, Kim and Meg seemed to forget about this argument. Shan and myself, however, did not. And we spend the next 2 years not hating each other, but not talking either. And then, another mutual ‘friend’ of ours started going on about how I was saying x, y and z about Shan, but telling me that Shan was saying the same about me. Typical teenage girl ‘drama’. Then, one day when I was 17, when msn was still a thing I got an add from this email address I didn’t recognise. So, I accepted and it was Shan. Neither of us said anything to each other for about a half hour, but then I started talking and was like “Hey.. so about that fight we had like 3 years ago? I’m really sorry.” and she said “I was just about to say the same thing to you.” And we got talking and realised that there’d been no bad blood between us it’d just been rumours and such and then we slowly started to become friends.

Why am I telling you this? Because she’s one of my closest friends. And I love her to death. But, would we have been friends had we accepted other people’s opinions of each other? That’s a different question entirely. Like I said, she taught me (maybe without even realising it) that if someone doesn’t like you for who you are, then they’re not important. And they don’t deserve to be in your life. If you’re reading this, Shan, I love you. And you’ll be glad to know I’m stopping talking about you now. 

In the past week, here are just a handful of the things I have been called

  • pathetic
  • childish
  • selfish
  • stupid
  • fat
  • ugly
  • ‘psycho’
  • a f*cking troll

And, to rub lemon juice in the papercut, a couple of those comments came from a family member. 

Originally, when it happened I felt so low, there aren’t even words to describe it. But, I started to come to my senses. In the grand scheme of things, what impact does the fact that a relation of mine thinks I’m selfish have on my life? None. None, at all. Do I care that some girl decide to throw a bit of a wobbly at me because I called her out on something? No. 

That’s why the Evanescence lyric as the title is so important to this post in my opinion. Only you have control over how you act, and what you do, and how you feel. Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you cloud YOUR opinion of you. 

“Remember who you really are.”


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