The Process

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So, it’s a pretty obvious thing, right? People do not enter this world as a fully formed, fully functional actual human being.

You enter this world as a squidgy thing that knows only that it was comfy for 9 months with no bright lights and nobody wanting to hold it into a scary new world. We have no personality, no funny traits, nothing. We’re a little boring, if I’m honest.

But from that point, a process happens.

We learn how to walk and talk. We learn not to touch the stove because it’s “burny-hot”. We learn that Dads can fix anything as long as they have some electrical tape and that Mums can fix anything that Dad messed up the first time. In some cases, we also learn to call Mum and not Dad when there’s a spider.

In primary school we learn how to read and how to write. We also learn the life cycle of a frog for some unknown reason. In high school, we learn some more useless stuff that’s supposed to help us for the rest of the life. (It’s been 3 years and I’m still at a loss as to where standard deviation comes in handy.) We also learn how to have “relationships” because when you’re 14 all you pretty much think about is that. Let’s not pretend otherwise.

Then you leave school and you do whatever you do and that becomes part of your process of becoming “you”.

However, all the experiences we have shape us into the human beings we are right now. Not just the stuff we’re taught on purpose like in school.

We have negative experiences like abuse (don’t worry, this isn’t another blog on that), or bullying or something of a similar nature.

We have brilliant experiences that also help shape us into the people we are.

It’s all part of the process.

Part of my process of course is my abuse, but ultimately that’s a very small part. But part of my process is also the amazing people I know, the church I have, the relationships I’ve had that have failed, the one that is current (and will remain current for a while I hope), the friendships I’ve made and the friendships I’ve lost. The people that have passed that I’ve had the privilege of knowing.

I’ve had very dark periods of depression.

I’ve been witness to horrific betrayals of trust and of character. I’ve known since the age of 10 how to spot alcohol poisoning in it’s early stages. I’ve worried about where my Dad is because he’s so dedicated to what he does that he can occasionally act first and think of consequences later.

My point is this: Don’t assume you really know someone because you’re their friend or related to them in some way. Because you could know extremely little of the process they have gone through to become the person they are just now. Sometimes it’s best to keep your opinions on how YOU think someone should act in a certain situation to yourself because your process will be an entirely different one to the one they’ve undergone and are still undergoing.

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