I’ve only just realised how far a reach my blog has. That might sound a little strange but it is what it is. It’s been read in over 50 different countries. It’s been found by searching some of the most bizarre phrases into google, one of the weirdest being “Metallica Slut”, but we’re going to brush past that.
The thing that struck me most is the fact that someone searched “How do I forgive my rapist?” and that search result brought up my blog. The thing that really got me even more is that my blog has been found more than once by searching that.
I’m not sure how I process that because none of my blogs are intended to be advice giving or anything of that nature. I’m in no way an expert on relationships or feelings or how you should deal with your feelings and I myself struggle with the forgiveness of the person who made me grow up faster than I should have done. I don’t want to use harsher language than I need to in this post because it’s not intended to be shocking or raw like my others on this topic. But I do want to say something to anyone else who comes across this blog after searching for the answer to that question.
You are important and none of that importance has been taken away from you, no matter what anyone has said or done to you. Your worth has not diminished. You had something awful happen to you. And it was in no way your fault.
As for forgiveness? I’m not sure on that front. It’s difficult. It’s definitely not a straight road that has an obvious destination at the end of it. You won’t wake up one day and go “Ach, I’ll forgive him/her”. Do they deserve your forgiveness? Probably not, no. Do you deserve it, if it’ll give you closure and help with the healing process? Most definitely.
That’s all I can really say on that topic, or that question. I’m not sure I’m 100% at that place of forgiveness yet myself. But I’ll get there. And if you want to get there, you will to. You will be okay, even if you don’t feel like it now.