“Remember why you’re alive”?

I got mad, folks. So you know what that means, it’s blog post time.

I mentioned the sexual abuse scandal on youtube in my last post and I was called out for claiming that there were “grey areas” in regards to sexual abuse. That’s not the case. And actually I’ve deleted that post because it was not helpful in regards to the conversation because people took it the wrong way, intentionally or unintentionally.

I want to talk about one person in particular in this post. His username is “Veeoneeye”, his actual name is Jason. Jason was accused of getting a fan, who was a minor, drunk and then sleeping with her. He admitted to this. And people supported him in his admission and called him brave for it.

Today he posted a picture of his new tattoo which says “Remember why you’re alive”. I’ll copy and paste from his instagram the reason he gave for getting this tattoo:

“so i got another tattoo and this one says ‘remember why you’re alive’ i got this because this past two weeks i’ve wanted to kill myself more than i ever have before, not because of what people have been saying to me but because i’ve hurt good people. there’s nothing that upsets me more and makes me more angry at myself than knowing i’ve upset people. it’s just a feeling that eats me inside and i can’t make go away. i got this on my right arm because i’m right handed and i catch the words in the corner of my eye all the time and it reminds me why i’m still here and that’s because i’m very good at finding distractions. just little things to occupy and clear my mind and keep me busy and this past few years that thing has been youtube. it’s all i think about and all i work on all the time and im not prepared to just give that up because it’s all i have left. so, what do you think?”

I’ll tell you what I think, Jason. I think that this is a load of manipulative tripe. I think you’re playing for the sympathetic vote. I think you’ve realised how much your “screw up” – which is statutory rape – can hurt your career and you’re trying to cover your backside.

The fact that Jason has claimed suicidal tendencies for getting a new tattoo is incredibly aggravating. It’s ridiculous. If you’re suicidal you don’t go “Hang on. A tattoo will fix this!” If you genuinely feel suicidal, please see a doctor. The fact that people support him makes me sick and as someone who has gone through both sexual abuse and the feeling of wanting to kill myself this makes me angry.

Why are these people still around? Why are we giving our time and energy to supporting them? Why are they still on our computer screens? Why are we supporting sexual abusers who readily admit what they have done? They are facing no repercussions and that’s just hitting home who messed up this whole situation is. The fact that you can be accused of rape and make a video and go “Hey yeah I did that. Sorry. It was a crappy thing to do.” and then go about your life as normal is scary. It’s an indication of just how screwed up the balance of power is in the YouTube community.

Why is this being allowed to continue? Have we lost our ability to think sensibly and rationally? Because right now we have children in the community supporting people who admit to having sex with children. And that’s not even opening the can of worms that is Sam Pepper. Or the bizarre situation surrounding Alex Day who has made a comeback and nobody’s quite sure how to deal with it.

Whilst I’m aware not all the allegations are against YouTubers having sex with children this was the particular situation that sparked my need to write. Sexual abuse, coercion, rape, harassment and anything else that falls under those terms is horrific and wrong and we’re allowing it to happen by not pointing out how bizarre the YouTube culture is. We have 5 year olds at gatherings. We have 12 year olds pretending they’re 16 in the hopes that their favourite youtuber pays them some shred of attention. We have grown ass men (and possibly women) taking advantage of their fans and getting support for it! Where did this come from? How did we get this mentality?

We cannot bury our heads in the sand anymore. We never should have done so in the first place.


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